The joys of getting an Indian Visa

I travel with work a lot, normally across all parts of Asia-Pacific. I’ve been doing it for some time now and have got most of the routine parts down pat.

One of the great tools for a frequent business traveler is the APEC card. When you apply for one, you are given clearance to enter the member countries (18 economies around AP and nearby) for three years. This saves the hassle of getting letters from employers in other countries and spending hours lining up outside consulates to get forms processed.

There is one key economy in Asia-Pacific that does not participate in the scheme; India. This is a pity, as getting a Visa for India is one of the most painful of endeavours. If you have ever dealt with Indian bureaucracy, you will know what I mean; they took the worst of the British bureaucracy and made it worse. This week I have had the joys of going through this again.

I found out on Friday that I needed to get to India (Chennai) as quickly as possible for a customer situation. So I started the wheels in motion; getting a letter from my company in India inviting me over, a letter from my local office saying I’m coming back and won’t jump ship to live/work in India (as if) and the travel bookings so I had an itinerary to support my Visa application.

I checked the paperwork requirements on three different sites (two for the consulate and one for the outsourcer who handles the visa applications) and of course found similar but different requirements listed on each. One wanted three passport sized photos, one required two and one required one! Some said both overseas and local letters were required for a 6-month work visa, some said only one was required. Nothing like consistency (these people put the Vogons to shame). So I prepared a superset of documents just in case.

The websites include (but are not limited to):

• The High Commission of India in Australia
• An old site for the Indian Consulate in Melbourne – this is out of date
• India Passport and Visa Services Centre (VFS Global) – this is the outsourcer and the best source of information.

The websites talked of 5 working days to get a Visa, so I thought I’d be comfortable traveling next Saturday if I got my application in first thing on Monday morning (i.e. Mon – Fri = 5 working days). I arrived at the new location (in Docklands, which is much easier to get to than Coburg) ten minutes before opening time to see a note on the door saying it was closed for somebody’s birthday. Of course this was not listed on their website amongst their official holiday list. That would be like providing a service.

There was someone there who said they were closed and would also be closed on Friday (18th). These people have a great life, Australian holidays, Indian holidays and a few extra unpublished ones. They told me to come back tomorrow (i.e. today).

So this morning I returned with paperwork in hand. After waiting an hour, my ticket number came up and I went to the counter. I was still hoping to be able to travel this weekend; perhaps they would speed up my application if I asked nicely and explained my situation: Can this be processed urgently…. Sorry “5 business days”… It’s really important …. Sorry “5 business days”… When can I pick up my passport… check the website to see when it’s ready… but can’t you give me an indication of when it will be ready… “5 business days”. Argh! I hope these guys don’t live in the delusion that they are providing a service!

So now I wait and try to book a flight that doesn’t rely on these people being organised. It amazes me that almost every country in the region can provide a frequent business traveler service except India; a country that is pulling itself out of the third world through business, and IT business at that. They can’t even offer a priority turnaround for a higher fee; all other consulates do that. Why is it so painful to deal with Indian bureaucracy. The next time someone rings from an Indian call centre during the middle of dinner to sell me Optus or Telstra, I’ll be telling them to submit their paperwork and will get back to them in “5 business days”.